Often, my pastor hubby Brad and I will be hanging out on the couch chatting, when all of a sudden, he’ll get his “I’m trying to be serious but lighthearted so she doesn’t think I have an ulterior motive” voice on.
You see, Brad is the type of pastor who likes to go deep. In fact, he would love for most of his conversations to be deep, spiritually rich conversations. Don’t get me wrong, I love spiritually rich conversations – I just don’t love mulling things over. I’m a doer, remember?
So the other night, we were hanging out on said couch eating BBQ Chicken naan pizzas (yummy), when all of a sudden, the voice was put on, and he asked, “What do you think is your purpose?”
Now, my first reaction when the voice is on is to assume a defensive position. That’s because during seminary, Brad would come home and ask me a theological question. I would happily provide an answer… and then he would bombard me with all of the theological nuances he had encountered at seminary that day. So yeah. We have history with this sort of thing.
And I had just been challenged to stop making assumptions about people’s intentions and take their words/actions at face value. (This is my “Christmas Risk”, which I’ll blog about another time ;-)) But still, my defensive voice was put on, and I slowly said, “…To glorify God…” Now, I know this is the “right answer”, but you see that I still hesitated.
Without giving anything away, Brad further asked, “In what way, specifically?” Immediately, I started thinking He’s asking this because he wonders why I’m doing this blogging thing while I have my hands in the fires of motherhood, my regular pay-bills-job, acting, and ministry. Another failure at an attempt to not make assumptions! Instead of dragging my charade out any longer, I sighed and said, “Why are you asking?”
“Because I’m reading this book about leaders, and he says good leaders know their specific purpose.”
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Why doesn’t he just come out and tell me these things first?! Then I can breathe easy and just answer the question.
Except I couldn’t really answer the question right then and there. Apparently, I’m not a good leader yet, haha. And I was hoping I could find a loophole, like, Hey! Once God has worked through me in a specific way, THEN I can tell you my purpose!
But now that Brad has asked, I can’t just stop thinking about it. (You see how he works, don’t you?)
I’ve never really been sure of the “specifics” of my purpose. At different times along my life journey, I have stopped to mull (gasp!) this over, and maybe I would come up with a possibility, but then I would just give up.
Now, do I really think there is one be-all-end-all specific purpose (other than the nebulous but absolutely true glorifying God)? No, not really. Well, not one. But I do think that, if I’m following Him and listening, God will give us a vision of how He wants to use us in certain phases of our lives.
And so, just to delay my answering the question even further, I’d like to turn it over to you. Whether you’re unsure of your purpose or not, let’s brainstorm together. In the comments, answer the following questions for the phase of life you’re in right now. Maybe your answers will help me gather my own thoughts. 🙂
- What excites you most in your life right now?
- How are you currently attempting to connect with God on a regular basis?
- Where are there gaps in your life? A longing for doing something differently? Or doing something new?
- How have you answered the question “What is your purpose” in the past? How do you feel like that has changed or not changed?
If you already have a clear vision/purpose, please share that as well! And just to clarify, your purpose doesn’t necessarily have to be a certain job or role.
On Tuesday, after I return from Relevant, I’ll share my own brainstorming session and how, specifically (for Brad’s sake), God might be directing me right now.