Little Wick

I’m a little burned out right now.

That’s my nice pastor’s-wife way of saying I’m really burned out. My wick is down in the crevices of candle wax, and it doesn’t feel like it can be unburied. I know it will be. I’ll claw through the wax, dig around for some breathing room, and finally find some oxygen for the fire.

But not today.

For the past 6 weeks, I haven’t slept more than a 5 hour stretch, and it’s been more like 3-4 hours at a time. Add Thanksgiving with family and holiday parties with friends (whom I truly love and care about) – and at best, I have ignored my husband. At worst, I’ve been a jerk.

And it’s the worst.

So I apologized today. I hugged him (when was the last time we embraced?), and said, “I’m sorry I’ve been a jerk.”

Him: “When have you been a jerk?”

Me: “The past 6 weeks.”

Him: “You have? And I didn’t even notice? I could have used that [for leverage].”

Me: {Thoughts} Why does he offer grace?

Love.

It’s the grace the Father has given him. It’s poured out on me.

Thank you, God.

4 thoughts on “Little Wick

  1. ruthdemitroff

    Actually, he was probably being honest. I love that part of being a clergy wife. I like my emotional privacy.

  2. Melanie

    I can totally relate.

    so glad I discovered your blog from the link to Jenilee’s post. I am becoming a pastor’s wife and look forward to learning from your wisdom.

    blessings!

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