I’m Not Upset – I Swear!

I have a natural frown. Seriously. My lips turn down. Which means that unless I’m smiling, I look like I’m ticked at the world.

Growing up, I would have complete strangers walking past me cheerily sing, “SMILE!!!” with their big goofy grins. Like if I just smiled 24/7 it would convert to happiness. Maybe it would for some, but for me, I think it would lead to migraines. 🙂

Poor Samuel – he was *ahem* blessed with his mommy’s mouth. He too, always wears a frown. Unless he’s smiling. A sampling of comments from passersby and friends are

“He’s so serious!”

“Hi!!…. Oh, you’re not sure about me, huh? Ok!”

“You’re just checking everything out, aren’t you?”

I find it quite amusing, but I kind of feel bad for the little guy, knowing what he’ll go through wearing a frown growing up. Or perhaps it won’t be so bad for him since he’s a boy. I hope.

Honestly, when I’m out in public , I have to remind myself to smile. Why do I do that? Am I being fake? I don’t think so. You see, I do it because even though I know I’m OK, what people perceive matters. I know that sounds awful, but hear me out.

I’m not upset, I’m not angry, I’m not miffed. But I look like I am. What does that say to people? Particularly guests at our church who know that I’m married to one of the pastors? Maybe it says, That pastor’s wife looks ticked. She needs a vacation. (:)) Or, She must be very unhappy here – I wonder what’s going on behind the scenes of this church. I definitely don’t want the integrity of our church to be questioned.

So I smile.

You’re probably wondering right now why this is in a Wedded Wednesday post. You see, my husband knows that I have a serious face. And he knows that I’m so thankful I can just wear my face around him rather than plastering a smile on so that I don’t offend people.

But it still bothers him! Unfortunately, I think my “I’m in deep thought” face is the same as my regular, frowning face. He catches me like that often and thinks I’m upset about something he did, didn’t do, or didn’t know I wanted him to do. Yeah. He thinks he was on the short end of the communication stick.

And when he starts to get a little defensive, I DO get upset that he (with every right) thought I would dare think such a thing! I was concentrating on something else you see!

Instead of getting upset, I have to snap out of my deep-thought stupor and absolutely communicate that I’m not upset at him. It’s tiring sometimes, but it stops that crazy spiral we get into, you know?

So, I’m curious, do you have any quirks that are quite innocent but drive your marriage into nutso-mode?

Oh, and next time you see me – I’m not mad – I promise!

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4 thoughts on “I’m Not Upset – I Swear!

  1. Mel

    Oh my goodness, you are speaking my language! I am always reminding myself to smile too. And, because I’m super shy, people seem to mistake that as being snobby. 🙁

    I have to work REALLY hard to be outgoing and smile and even remember to sit by people because my natural tendencies are toward the loner side.

    I’m glad someone besides me is plastering her smile face on too! When we pass each other at church we can put our frowns back on. 😉

  2. Mrs. V

    I have the same problem. It even goes a bit farther for me, as when I am “in thought” I tend to have a serious face and people think I am upset at them or the situation when it has nothing to do with anyone around! I am working on it as well. My mom has the same issue, so I know a few ladies who are in the same boat.

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