Make Room for Your White Knight


My sweet, helpful husband. All he asks is, “Do you want me to go to the store for you?”

He has no idea what he’s in for.

Knowing what my days look like, I say, “Sure!” It would be quite a relief to have the groceries taken care of.

I start to hand him the list, but then I kind of tug it back – and hold on for dear life – because… well, you see, because there are things on there that I need to explain. Like Samuel’s food. Please get organic, and oh, don’t get this kind of yogurt because it’s too runny. For the chips, get what you want, but nothing with MSG. Yes, you have to read the labels. Also, I forgot to put on there the 25 things that were in my head, so let me add those, too. Hey, while you’re there can you get some stamps and some dog food. Oh wait… we don’t have a dog. Scratch that last one.

Come on, lady! He’s just trying to help! Why are you so picky!? (Can I claim it’s because I care? 😉 Or is it my control thing?)

Would it be easier to just go myself? YES!! And sometimes when he offers to do this for me (can you believe he still offers!?), I do think it would be easier on all of us if I “do it myself”. But sometimes I have to just hand over the list, say Thank You with relief, and let him rescue me.

I’m going to go out on a limb here, ladies. If you think your husband doesn’t do anything, it’s likely you’re not letting him. And you ain’t his momma, so since when did you think you could start dictating what he does and doesn’t do? I know – when it made your life less convenient.

Trust me, when Brad comes home with alfalfa sprouts instead of bean sprouts, I think How am I supposed to make Pad Thai with these? And then I have to laugh because really – how big of a deal is that? It’s not. Even when it is.

My challenge is for you to step out of the way. When he offers to do something, instead of thinking No way! He’ll screw it up and then I’ll just have to redo it!

  1. Say “Yes, that would be awesome!”
  2. When he comes home with those alfalfa sprouts, say “Thanks, babe! You made my life easier this week.” Because he did. He got all other 99 specific things spot-on.

You get to be the princess. He gets to be the hero. And then? He’ll want to do it more. And better. And bigger.

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6 thoughts on “Make Room for Your White Knight

  1. Michele

    Oh my I have to laugh at this. When I start to add to a regular list I have given my husband I can hear him tense up over the phone. Honey will you get this, and this, and this, and this, and this… You are right I think I don’t let him do stuff sometimes. Although I have been really good about not saying anything when he empties the dishwasher and I have to go through the whole kitchen moving things from the wrong cupboards to the right ones. I have to remind myself it was nice of him to empty the dishwasher but I just really want to show him the correct place for everyting so he can do it right. *sigh*

    1. Stephanie Post author

      Another thing you can try is letting the place he puts the dishes be the “new” place they’re kept. 😉

  2. Karyn

    I get so anxious about flying with a baby/toddler. I fill my carry-on with things to entertain her or keep her occupied and I always insist on sitting next to her because when she starts to freak out, apparently I’m the only one that can calm her (control issue!).

    We flew 4 times last month and right away Brian offered to sit next to her. I reluctantly agreed, and guess what? It was WAY better. He was more calm with her, making her calm and thus making me calmer. What a deal!

    I gave control to him and he did better than I could. Sometimes I just have to step out of my own way!

    1. Stephanie Post author

      Wow, that’s great, Karyn!
      And why are the better behaved for everyone but mommy? Haha!

  3. Pingback: Beauty, You Only Need One Hero | The Candid Pastor's Wife: Faith. Marriage. Beauty. Women. Culture.

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