Deep inside a woman’s core is a longing to be rescued. And this is not a panderingly sick, masochistic longing. It doesn’t mean that women are incapable, weak, or subservient. It means that we want our man to be a MAN.
We want him to want us. And we want him to go out of his way risk everything to care for us. Again, not because we can’t take care of ourselves – but because it’s our design. If you haven’t read Wild at Heart: Discovering the Secret of a Man’s Soul by John Eldredge yet, it offers an inside look at why men are how they are. I highly recommend it to all women who are married or want to be married.
We can take care of ourselves (usually in a very unfulfilling way), and so, often, we just pull up our bootstraps and trudge along, pushing away our man’s efforts.
I am constantly guilty of this. I’m in the kitchen, trying to hoist my lovely but heavy KitchenAid to the counter. In the background, I hear Brad say, “Here, I’ll get that.” But, you see, Brad – you didn’t read my mind and discern that I needed the KitchenAid, and I’m now halfway to the counter, so I can get it myself, thankyouverymuch.
Or we’re getting out of the car to go somewhere, and I grab the 10 bags I need plus Samuel. All the while, he’s trying to take something – and some thingS from me (he would gladly take it all! He’s macho!) But do I let him? No.
But it can get oh so much more dangerous than this. Usurping my husband’s rescuing powers is quite harmful to a marriage, but it has another, scary, consequence: it makes me vulnerable to accept another man’s resuce.
The ungratefulness, the martyr-ing – it makes me believe the lies that say my husband doesn’t care; that he’s not strong; that he’s lazy; that he doesn’t love me.
Then, when another man, simply being kind or gentlemanly, steps in to offer a simple assistance – say a door held-open, an offer to take groceries to your car as your 1-year old wails bloody murder, a hand with something heavy or difficult – my mind jumps the shark. At first, I’m thinking – “Wow. That was surely nice of him. Nice guy.” Two minutes later, I’m wondering, “Does he like me? He knows I’m married, right?”
Yes, it’s stupid. Sometimes I’m like that.
And it scares me.
But if I let my husband be my hero; I won’t have need for another.
Here’s my challenge to you this week: The next few times your husband tries to rescue you this week, LET HIM. If you’re like me, and you have a weak head for lies, I’d love to hear if this helped you. If you don’t feel comfortable commenting, you can always email me at thecandidpastorswife (at) gmail (dot) com.
It’s WEDDED WEDNESDAY! Bloggers can link up any marriage post during the week. If you’d like to spread the love, add the button to your post, but please link back to me somehow. Button code: