I had a great Mother’s Day, and I hope you did too! I was very blessed by my family and husband – just spending time with them is so much better than gifts to me!
Every mother faces a certain temptation at some point – it’s the temptation to replace your marriage with your role as a mother.
For many, your wedding day is a culminating event where you are united to your soulmate and best friend. You vow to stay committed to them. You cry (if you’re like me). You eat, drink, and be merry/married. You celebrate with a honeymoon. Your husband is the most important person in your life.
If you had fantastic pre-marital counseling, like I did (Thanks Holly and Michael!), you learn how you are made to be your husband’s greatest helper and encourager. You learn that God intends marriage to be a picture of how Jesus loves and sacrifices for his beloved church.
You get high on the love, the romance, the fun that is marriage.
I don’t mean that to sound like children take away all of those amazing things in your marriage. Ideally, children add to the love, the romance, the fun that is being a family. In a perfect state, you and your husband become a deeper picture of how God loves and sacrifices for his beloved children. You get – just a little bit more – how gut-wrenchingly wonderful/awful it is to love someone so painfully.
For a mother – moreso than for a father, I think – that ocean-deep love can inch its way into the love you have for your husband. You are overcome with love in a new way. Add to that the exhaustion and busy-ness that children bring, and it’s quite easy to neglect your husband and marriage.
The sex stops, the dates stop, the mooning at each other stops, the cuddling stops, etc. Not all in that order, necessarily. 😉
Instead of the closeness you once felt with your mate, you maybe hold your little one a little longer. You replace your marital-inside jokes with sweet baby giggles.
Hear me correctly – Holding your babies and drinking in their laughter are precious, precious moments to savor and enjoy. The danger is when we replace all of the emotions in our marriage with emotions for our children.
Boy moms listen up! I think this is especially challenging and tempting when you have a son.
As he gets older, the temptation to captivate your son’s attention instead of your husband’s will only increase. Your desire to coddle him and “help” him threatens to creep into the “help” you should be offering to your husband.
From the time Samuel was born, I was praying, Lord, prepare me to let this little man GO when he gets older. Prepare my heart NOW to release him into the world to do your will.
Moms, this is an important part of your mission. You are to, along with your husband, raise boys to become independent men. Men who don’t need their mommies! I know – it’s awful to think that! It makes my heart sink, and my little one is only 15 months old! But that’s our job, moms. To help them leave the home as adults. To rejoice when they do!
If your marriage did not start out as a love affair between best friends, this temptation will be even greater. Hey, your husband doesn’t treat you like a princess, but your son treats you like a queen! Why would you want to let him go!?
Even if your marriage began as the picture-perfect romance – this temptation is close by. Beware of it! Be on guard in prayer. Prioritize your marriage over your children when it makes sense – because when your children leave, you are still to be a picture of Christ and his beloved bride, the Church. That role of your marriage doesn’t go away.