Now that school is back in full swing (you know, for the rest of the world – none of us are in school right now!), I have been thinking often of my blog and how much I miss writing and connecting with you guys. And connecting with the Lord – this is one of my most powerful tools for spiritual growth.
I’ve even written a couple of drafts in the past month, and I’ve had tons of posts swirling in my head. But something has been holding me back from posting.
I feel caught, like a deer in the headlights, with nothing to say. Well, I have things to say, but I don’t feel they’re good enough.
I know you’ve been there with me – these feelings of ineptitude, insecurity, and isolation. There are many things that can contribute to these feelings, but I don’t think that’s wholly what’s important. The important thing is that these feelings are reflections of where I am with God right now… and when you feel this way, perhaps that’s where you are with God?
My faithlessness has been strong (Lord, increase my faith.)
I don’t feel worthy to come before Him. (I’m not.)
Therefore, I ignore spiritual connection with Him and with my community of believers. (Even though I’m not really alone.)
All I can do at this point is cry out to Him. Confess where my heart has been and put it back on the altar stained with the blood of Christ where it belongs.