Making Peace with Being a Working Mom

Can I just say it: It’s HARD being a working mom!

But I don’t mean that it’s not hard being a stay at home mom.

What I do mean is that my situation is that I’m a working mom. And I find it incredibly difficult.

Sometimes.

Last year, at this time, I let you know that I was leaving my job. I had some part-time work that was going to fill in the income for a while, and then we were going to try to make it with a stay at home mommy. Which is what I wanted and what my heart still longs for.

Well, I ended up going back to work.

Are you confused yet?

There are many circumstances that went into us making the decision for me to quit my job, one of which was income taxes, another – larger – issue was childcare. Our regular babysitter was starting to be negligent with my son Samuel, and it wore on me more than anything else. When you work part-time, it is very difficult to find childcare. The providers just want (understandably) full-time kids.

So we made the decision. We thought it would work!

But financially, it just really wouldn’t.

However, God has been helping me come to terms with being a working mom. If it is not possible for me to be a stay at home mom, and we truly think we’re following His will, then perhaps His will for me is to be a working mom!

Maybe it’s not the choice I want to make, but it is His plan that I have to trust.

And He has made the working mom “pieces” all fit together with the least amount of pain possible.

Examples:

  • The filming schedule I was on was less hours that I had worked at my other job. So as my filming was wrapping up, I inquired if they would accept me back at that amount of time per week. I had no idea if they would say Yes, but they did! It’s not a huge difference in time, but it makes a huge difference at home.
  • By His grace, we found a babysitter who is willing to work part-time, and she is sooooo good with our son. I’m so thankful for her.
  • I finally recognized that God blessed me with the ability to make a good income in a short amount of time. Financially, I could have to work 40+ hours a week, but he made it possible for me to work at 15 hours a week and still have enough for our family to give, save, and spend as we are led.

When I talk to stay at home mommies, it’s still hard for me not to covet their situation. But now that I have accepted that this is God’s plan for our family – at this time in our lives – I have so much more peace about it.

However, I’m not looking forward to going back to work after Emma is born. I remember how hard that was with Samuel, and I just don’t want to do it!

Will you remind me then what God is teaching me now?

10 thoughts on “Making Peace with Being a Working Mom

  1. Gini Craven

    Stephanie, as I look back over my life, I can so see God,s hand I’m my working mom life. I always desired to stay home with my kids and after we became believers I thought for sure that would be God’s plan for me too. Little did I know that God had plans for me to start working away from my husband whom I had worked with for the previous 10 years and to start working full time. It was such a hard transition but God remained faithful as I worked and raised children. After 15 years , God then resorted my being able to work once again with my husband. At age 60 we can hardly wait to retire but God keeps us working for the time being. We are just trying to bloom where God has planted us since we know that is His will for us to provide for us at the present time. All this said, being a working mom is very draining, but just remember that God will enable you to walk through what He has called you to and that raising Godly,healthy, happy children is a doable thing. Hang in there.

    1. Stephanie Post author

      Gini – thank you so much for sharing this!! Since I know how amazing your daughter Holly is, this gives me peace that God will do his will with my children, despite my being home with them or not. Probably IN SPITE of it 😉

  2. Karyn

    I understand completely. This is such a tricky topic and I’ve found myself wary of who I talk about it to, because it can turn heated/hurtful. Me staying at home just isn’t an option for us, for a few reasons. I appreciate that being a teacher, I have so much time off with my kids – but it’s still very hard.

    The truth is, somehow over the last year or so I’ve made peace with it and I know this is where I’m supposed to be right now. Mia is thriving and each time I feel those twinges of guilt, I know it’s solely coming from me because my relationship with her is as close as can be. I fear having a newborn will reignite some of the worst of those feelings, but I take comfort knowing this was a prayerful decision that I reevaluate frequently.

    All this to say, I get it. It’s SUCH a hard thing, but you’re a great mama and it’s incredibly obvious how much Samuel loves you – you’re doing what you need to serve your family in this season. I hope you can find comfort in that.

    1. Stephanie Post author

      Thanks Karyn! I know you’ve struggled through this too, and I’m so glad you’re feeling peace, too. I also know stay at home moms who would rather, perhaps, to have a career, but they feel they have been called to be at home. They have the same struggles! Crazy…

  3. Alicia The Snowflake

    Stephanie, I have struggled with this same thing. I went to work when my son was 6 weeks old. There was even a time when I went to school at night and worked full-time. Those were hard days. But I knew I was doing what I was supposed to be doing. My son is well adjusted and we have a great relationship. Now I am able to work for our family business part-time and homeschool because of my earlier experience. You never know what God has in store for you. I pray peace for you as you make this new transition. May God give you strength for the journey! Blessings to you sweet friend!

  4. Jane Sadek

    You’re assuming that you know what God’s plan is. Yes, you may have to go back to work, but then again, who knows what God has up his sleeve. I get most bogged down in my life when I assume that what I’m doing right now is what the balance of my life will be. If I see life as an adventure that I’m going through with God and around each corner may be something exciting, well I get through the tough days better.

    1. Stephanie Post author

      You’re right that i only know His current plan, but i do need to find peace in it for today! 🙂

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