Trusting When I Fall Flat on My Face

This past Saturday, I had a very fun day set up. We were taking maternity pictures with Bobby, then I was going to get a facial that my mom gave me for mother’s day last year (yes, it took me that long to make the appointment), then I was going to a baby shower for a friend.

It was beautiful, albeit windy, outside as we took super fun family pictures, celebrating the baby bump with friends (Bobby and his wife and baby)!

Towards the end of the session, though, I did something really stupid.

In all of my pregnant-glory, I tried to climb a rocky creek wall to get that next perfect shot. Can you guess what happened?

My toe caught something, and I tripped. I put my hands out to catch myself, and I felt like I was just going to hit my knees – which I certainly did, enough to pop the blood vessels – but then I just kept falling. And my belly hit the ground before my hands. It hit hard, with all of my weight.

I laid there stunned, not knowing how I could have just fallen like that! I was slightly embarassed, but I was mostly confused. This changed body caught me off guard, and then my thoughts immediately went to Emma. The cracked toenail and scraped knee had no pain in those moments as I gripped my baby bump.

I didn’t know what to say. Everyone was pulling me up and brushing grass off of me and asking how I felt. I felt…. numb. Dumbstruck. Scared. My lips were dry, and I licked them as I mumbled something about calling the doctor.

We decided to end the picture-taking (wouldn’t those be some interesting shots?), and I called the doctor – Why do these things happen on Saturday anyway!?

The doc said if I wasn’t bleeding and the baby was still moving, that the uterus, placenta, and fluid are still very protective, and everything was likely OK.

I hadn’t felt Emma move since the fall. Her and I had been up half the night, so I was hoping she was taking a biiiiiiig nap. Doc also said to lie down in a quiet place to see if she would move. I thought I felt her, just a twinge, so I decided to keep my facial appointment – quiet place to lie down, right!? I didn’t know if it was selfish or the right thing to do, but I did it. And then I went to the baby shower. All the while, I kept thinking, Is she moving? Maybe that was a spasm. She seems more still than usual. Not as strong.

And honestly, my ab muscles hurt badly the rest of the day from the impact, so I just didn’t feel right overall.

Since then, I’ve been feeling her move, but the paranoia in me is telling me that it’s not as much. Not as strong. Not enough to be OK in my mind. To give me peace.

When my husband Brad dropped me off for the facial, we had prayed for Emma, and he reminded me She’s in good hands.

It was everything I needed to hear. That Emma is loved way more by my Heavenly Father than I could ever love her. That He is holding her. That I cannot thwart His will for her life.

That He is trustworthy.

What reminds you of God’s faithfulness and trustworthiness when you’re scared and anxious?

7 thoughts on “Trusting When I Fall Flat on My Face

  1. Ashley

    Wow! Scary! Praying for you and precious Emma!

    I remember one of my most anxious moments during pregnancy when I was about 4 months along. I won’t go into details, though they’re as vivid now as they were almost 9 years ago, but I had placenta abruptia. I remember laying in the ER, worried but calm – you know, that peace that surpasses all understanding? I kept thinking of Bible verses and singing praise songs inside my head. God flooded my mind during those moments so I wouldn’t give in to the panic.

    I was put on bed rest for a week, followed by temporary bed rest for another month or so. At one point during that first weekend, I felt panicky again, so my husband called the on-call doctor. She had us come in for an ultrasound – and in one of the images, we saw a smiley face! It wasn’t Jacob’s actual face, just some image of spots that came across screen. The doctor laughed and reassured me that everything looked fine, and I went back home relieved and more at peace.

    The rest of my pregnancy went mostly without incident, and I quickly and easily delivered (with the help of Pitocin and an epidural) an 8 lb,, 15 oz. boy. Jacob is now 9 years old, healthy and happy and strong.

  2. Heather Wilson

    That is so scary. I fell while carrying my 17 month old and I was days away from having my second. My husband watched me fall and I have to say I’ve never seen him look so worried before. I was fortunate not to land on my stomach, but caught myself with my left hand (which hurt for days after) and still cradle my daughter. My knee was scraped up pretty good too.
    I worried like you did about the baby. Was she moving and was she moving enough. I think she was in shock for awhile, but that night she was very active. I thank God that he created women to carry babies in such a safe manner. They are very protected in their little sack (although I don’t recommend falling to see if it’s true).
    I am so amazed at God’s handy work when it comes to the lives my kids. He really holds them in his hands and cares for them every step of the way. Because of Him, I have three beautiful daughters, two of which could easily not be with us.

    1. Stephanie Post author

      I guess I needed that reminder, Heather – like you said that he holds them and cares for them from the beginning. That even when our body provides for their every need – HE is in control of that!

  3. Donna

    Thank God everything is alright! The Lord does build us in such a miraculous & mysterious way. With the stories above you can be assured that many women have experienced this as well & were fine. my mom fell with her 1st born also, & my sister was fine. Did you know that shipping companies have done studies on the womb to see the best way to transport highly fragile & explosive materials to be the safest way. Developements have been made from copying Gods’ original protective plan! Our God is amazing! Just thought you might like that piece of info.
    Great picture… you all are looking so good. Bless the Lord!

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