A friend of mine, Mel, chooses a word each year to focus on. Something like, “Quiet” or “Praise” or something like that. And throughout the year, she tries to bring her mind back to that word.
Well, I felt like God was leading me to do a year-long focus for 2013, but apparently I’m more wordy than Mel because I chose a phrase.
Attitude of Gratitude
I wish wish wish I were a grateful person. My flesh is very negative.
- blame shifter
- glass half empty
- negative nelly
- excuse maker
I hate this about myself, but it’s the truth. And I don’t fight it very much. You know, for the sake of authenticity.
Well if I truly went authentic, I would also be a massive liar, a thief, an adulteress, and a murderer.
I don’t want authentic if that’s what it means. I want transformation. And transformation only comes through the power of the Holy Spirit.
So I felt God leading me to be renewed with an Attitude of Gratitude this year. But this is going to take faith. It’s going to take His power because I just don’t have this in me.
Saying thank you to someone is hard for me.
That’s how much I struggle with this. My mind says, Well yeah thanks for that but where were you when I needed xyz?
I’m ashamed of my flesh, and I’m ready to cast it off for a new wardrobe.
My biggest challenge for gratitude comes in the form of my marriage. And believe me, I have a whole heap of a lot to be thankful for there. So so many things (it would take a year to write it all out).
But when I wake up tired, it must be his fault. When I’m depressed, I’m angry at him. When he says, “I love you,” I sometimes don’t want to reply.
It is such a horrible reality it takes my breath away to put it in print.
Can you see why I need God’s transforming power in my marriage? Every day?
The attitude of gratitude does not focus on what I’m not receiving from my husband. It focuses on what I am receiving from him.
The attitude of gratitude takes the long view, realizing that God’s purposes play out in a lifetime, not a weekend.
The attitude of gratitude wants to thank my husband with a kiss, rather than ignoring his eye contact and snuffing his advances.
Lord, could you give me this attitude of gratitude? I’m going to mess it up. Probably today, so can you redeem it? I know you CAN, and I have faith that you will transform my marriage into something that can bring glory to You.