The Adoption Post I Don’t Want to Write

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.  James 1:2-3 ESV

I have not updated you in a long time, but there is an update.

You know, James didn’t say that trials are something we just need to suck up and force ourselves to be happy about it. He said facing trials is pure joy. Not even just a source of joy, pure joy.

My family has experienced a few trials this year, and I know I’m heavy with it all. Adoption is a part of that.

This news is bittersweet. It has joy.

Our adoption case was still in the original stage: we were waiting for our son Z’s personal investigation. In this phase, the lawyer works with the city to create the child’s backstory, answering the questions about where the parents are, how the child became an orphan, etc.

For many weeks, we got no news, as the adoption process in the DRC is quite stalled right now, awaiting (prayerfully) new legislation.

Then, a few weeks ago, we found out Z does have a biological parent living. The bio parent must give consent for the investigation to continue. Our agency told us that it wasn’t clear why yet, but the bio parent wouldn’t sign the consent.

From the moment I found out about the bio parent, I’ve been praying that they would want to take their son home. Not because we don’t want to adopt him, quite the contrary. Any child with their original parent is a blessing when it is healthy, and the DRC adoption landscape is so unclear right now…

My prayer has been answered. Z’s parent came and took him home.

This is a blessing to me to know that his parent wants to nurture their child. We don’t know any more of his story, and we never will. Perhaps the parent wasn’t able to care for their son, and now they can. Perhaps one of the parents died and the other made a choice that they can now overcome. Perhaps DRC orphanages are a temporary social welfare system when needed. I honestly don’t know. But I’m 100% supportive of this parent to take their child and raise them. I’m overjoyed for Z.

And I’m brokenhearted for myself and my family. This son is already in our hearts forever. I will always pray for him to know Jesus and to be well.

As I shared with a few close friends, I received the most wonderful confirmation on our place in Z’s story.

I expected people to react in this way, “Oh honey, there’s another child out there.” “I’m so sorry; why can’t you find out more?” Etc. I feared it with everything in me. But instead, the friends said, “I will continue to pray for Z.” And you don’t know how much my heart was comforted that we are not the only ones who love Z without ever having met him.

As hard as this news is to bear, we are called to stand up for the oppressed and the orphan (Psalm 82:3). And we did. It doesn’t look like we thought it would. But we did. If we hadn’t stood in that gap for Z, he may not be home yet.

Our adoption journey is not over, and our connection to Z will never change. Thank you for praying for us and continuing to pray for the son in our hearts.

We are seeking out other ways we can serve and love orphans in the DRC and elsewhere, and we will update you when we can.

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