Tag Archives: adultery

Two Verses that will Change Your View of Your Husband

I don’t often think about how my husband views me; in fact, I’m confident in his love for me.

Maybe so confident that I neglect him. So confident that I don’t think about the temptations that surround him. Confident enough to shut my eyes and ears to how he serves me.
Change How You View Your Husband

I was literally startled when I read these verses in the Bible.

Like a lily among thorns
is my darling among the young women.

Like an apple tree among the trees of the forest
is my beloved among the young men. (Song of Solomon 2:2-3, NIV)

Am I like a lily among thorns to my husband?

That was the immediate question. And I knew the answer: I might be more like a thorn among thorns. 

Am I more like a thorn?

My husband is already in a patch of thorns!

  • the world’s troubles (John 16:33)
  • the curse of difficult work (Genesis 3:17)
  • bearing others’ burdens (Galatians 6:2)
  • his own sin nature (Romans 3:23)
  • among others!

When he sees me, does he see a lily? Am I:

  • a rare treat?
  • refreshing his eyes and soul?
  • soft and gentle?
  • lovely?

I long to be as a lily to my husband

To be perfectly honest, this verse is comparing Solomon’s bride to other women. My husband, like many, is surrounded by other women all the time! While I completely trust him, I want to be the woman that stands out from the crowd. 

What if I am more like a thorn among lilies?

Yes, he has a responsibility to serve and love me no matter what, but my marriage will be markedly more wonderful if I’m committed to making that responsibility a joy and a treasure.

Do I see my husband as a gift?

Imagine you’re walking through a forest, thick with huge trees. Vines, brambles, and shrubs cover the trunks of the trees and the ground on which you’re treading. Bugs are everywhere. Ducking under a branch, you wipe cobwebs from your face, and look up to see a clearing. In the middle of the clearing is one, single, random apple tree.

That’s the way I need to view my husband. Not random haha. No, he’s a find!

In fact, the bride says of her husband:

  • I feel safe with him and trust that he is capable (“I delight to sit in his shade.”)
  • Having sex with him is a sweet delight to me (“His fruit is sweet to my taste.”)
  • When we’re together in public, I’m happy to see how he treasures me (“Let him lead me to the banquet hall.”)

Can I say those things? Or instead, do I think:

  • My husband is like a child and truly needs my help. I can’t trust him to do anything right.
  • He disgusts me. OR, being intimate with my husband is the last thing I want to do.
  • I take every chance to belittle and tease my husband when we’re among others. If he pays me a compliment, I turn it back into an attack on him.

These two tiny verses are challenging me to see my husband as the gift that he is and to strive to be a lily among thorns for him!

Did these verses challenge you to view your husband differently?

 

Wisdom or Death?

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Just as Wisdom is personified as a woman, so is another path – a path that leads to death: the path of the adulteress.

And I have to ask myself:

Am I a woman who personifies Wisdom or Death?

Am I the adulterous woman? A path of death?

Read Proverbs 7 to get the whole picture.

Let’s look at her characteristics:

She’s a smooth talker.

See verses 7, 11, 14-20, and 21.

She knows exactly how to seduce by making a man silent. She’s “loud” – and she efficiently and breathlessly talks the youth into her web of lies.

She provides him all of the safety and excuses he needs to be with her, feeding on his passivity and lust.

She makes him feel like a stud – knowing exactly the words a man needs to hear – words our husbands should hear from us. “I’ve been waiting all day… I’ve prepared for this moment… I’m so glad you’re here… I want you to take me… you’re the real man in my life… we’re safe…”

Questions: Do you talk all day with colleagues or even your bestie but are silent or degrading to your husband? If you’re single, are you using speech as a way to dominate men – perhaps at work or in relationships?

She’s premeditated.

See verses 12, 14-17.

The adulteress has prepared for this moment. She didn’t get caught up in something confusing. She put herself out there. She made it clear that she wants the youth, and that she’s free to be taken.

Questions: Are you sending flirty texts with a “friend”? Do you pass by the lunch room at the same time every day because a friend who gives you butterflies will be there? Do you go to his house just to “drop something by”? If you’re married, these are sure signs that you are caught in infidelity of the heart. As a single, ask yourself if the way you seem available is godly or ungodly.

She’s immodest – physically and verbally.

See verses 10, 11, 13, 17-20.

This lady is quite aware of how she dresses: like a hooker, probably with braided hair and plenty of adornment. Rouge and perfume have been used. The finest garments she can find are on her couch.

Not only that, but her speech leaves nothing to the imagination. She has no restraint, but pulls out all the stops to trap this man in his tracks. She mocks her religion (v. 14), she’s publicly prowling for men (v. 12), and she says, “Let’s have sex all night since my husband is gone” (vv. 19-20, my paraphrase).

Questions: What are you doing physically and verbally that are without restraint? How much of that is to gain ungodly attention?

She’s unhappy at home.

See verses 10, 11, and 19-20.

I see an unwillingness in her to be at home and to be happy at home. She’s “wily” and “wayward”. She can’t even be in her house because it reminds her of her true calling. She is grateful and eager because her husband isn’t there – so she can act like she’s not even married.

Questions: Do you escape your home because you’re escaping your marriage? Or, if you’re single, because you’re so desperate that you’re willing to sacrifice your integrity?

The caveats.

Yeah, this wisdom is written to “sons” against the adulteress. And this man, even though he’s written as a witless fool, he’s no dummy. He’s taking the “road to her house” on purpose. He wants her to seduce him. He wants her to give him no excuses. He’s just as guilty in this; maybe more so since he is called to lead.

And, there are guys that play the adulteress (obviously adulterer, but you get my point) too. Charming, smooth, always dressed nicely. Always seems to be right where you’re heading. Don’t be a fool and walk on the road to his house, ladies. His house is a house of death (v. 27).

It pains me to think about the times I’ve played the adulteress. It’s shameful and empty. I hate it and praise God for the years of redemption he’s given my marriage! My sin is covered by the blood of the only worthy Lamb, Jesus.

 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. (2 Corinthians 5:17, ESV)

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