I don’t often think about how my husband views me; in fact, I’m confident in his love for me.
I was literally startled when I read these verses in the Bible.
Like a lily among thorns
is my darling among the young women.
Like an apple tree among the trees of the forest
is my beloved among the young men. (Song of Solomon 2:2-3, NIV)
Am I like a lily among thorns to my husband?
That was the immediate question. And I knew the answer: I might be more like a thorn among thorns.
My husband is already in a patch of thorns!
- the world’s troubles (John 16:33)
- the curse of difficult work (Genesis 3:17)
- bearing others’ burdens (Galatians 6:2)
- his own sin nature (Romans 3:23)
- among others!
When he sees me, does he see a lily? Am I:
- a rare treat?
- refreshing his eyes and soul?
- soft and gentle?
To be perfectly honest, this verse is comparing Solomon’s bride to other women. My husband, like many, is surrounded by other women all the time! While I completely trust him, I want to be the woman that stands out from the crowd.
What if I am more like a thorn among lilies?
Yes, he has a responsibility to serve and love me no matter what, but my marriage will be markedly more wonderful if I’m committed to making that responsibility a joy and a treasure.
Do I see my husband as a gift?
Imagine you’re walking through a forest, thick with huge trees. Vines, brambles, and shrubs cover the trunks of the trees and the ground on which you’re treading. Bugs are everywhere. Ducking under a branch, you wipe cobwebs from your face, and look up to see a clearing. In the middle of the clearing is one, single, random apple tree.
That’s the way I need to view my husband. Not random haha. No, he’s a find!
In fact, the bride says of her husband:
- I feel safe with him and trust that he is capable (“I delight to sit in his shade.”)
- Having sex with him is a sweet delight to me (“His fruit is sweet to my taste.”)
- When we’re together in public, I’m happy to see how he treasures me (“Let him lead me to the banquet hall.”)
Can I say those things? Or instead, do I think:
- My husband is like a child and truly needs my help. I can’t trust him to do anything right.
- He disgusts me. OR, being intimate with my husband is the last thing I want to do.
- I take every chance to belittle and tease my husband when we’re among others. If he pays me a compliment, I turn it back into an attack on him.
These two tiny verses are challenging me to see my husband as the gift that he is and to strive to be a lily among thorns for him!
Did these verses challenge you to view your husband differently?