Tag Archives: idolatry

I’m Trying to be Perfect…Again

This Texas “fall” is killing me, y’all!!

It was seriously over 90 degrees yesterday – on November 2!

Getting 3 kids in and out of the car multiple times, helping with buckles, answering questions, meeting delays and demands, school pick-ups, errands, playground, HEAT!

Ugh! I just don’t have the patience for it anymore! I get super duper grumpy when I’m hot and am staring down the sun whilst children do what children do. I need to move to Alaska to be a better mother!

Trying to be perfect

Don’t I?

No, I think I’d complain about being cold… Hmmm.. ok California then! The weather there is perfect year round (so I’ve heard!).

Nah. Too expensive. Then I’d have to work more and commute more and yuck. Those are on my “least favorite” list.

Colorado – I love Colorado!

Nope – they actually have real winter for almost 6 months. I’d love the other 6. That’s it – I’ll become a snowbird!!

Hmmm, then I’d lack community and family and stability for my kids.

Ok, ok, so maybe I’m just not a great mom and it has nothing to do with my circumstance!

Once that air blasts me in the car, I’m all of a sudden smiling and engaging my kids in the “good mom” way again. I’m praising God – but what about before? Yuck!

I know God covers my sinful moments with His grace. I know it – but I want to be perfect! I don’t want to mess up.

…I’m idolizing myself, aren’t I? I’m trying to be God again instead of letting Him be who He is and transform me at His pace and worship Him. I want to be worthy of worship instead.

And I’m barely worshiping these days as it is, but in my one reading I made it to this week, was this:

The body that is sown is perishable, it is raised imperishable; it is sown in dishonor, it is raised in glory; it is sown in weakness, it is raised in power; it is sown a natural body, it is raised a spiritual body. (1 Corinthians 14:42b-44, NIV)

I know God will fulfill the desire to cast off this nature in Heaven, and in the meantime and for eternity, I want to turn the worship of myself all to Him who is truly worthy!

In those difficult moments, I need this reminder that Jesus is the resurrection of the dead – He is the king. He’s greater and more worthy of worship than any comfort or convenience or strength that I have.

How are you trusting in God’s word today?

Fighting the Comfort Idol

Part of the reason I chose my word of the year last year had to do with fighting my idolization of comfort.

I love to just be my old self. The fleshly self.

I have always been a very negative person. When I’m just seeking my own comfort, I can see it staring at me through a wall of frowns and pessimism.

My poor husband sees it the most because around him, I don’t have to hide it.

Last week, I was sitting in my chair, about to open my Bible. The day before, I had decided to start reading 2 Corinthians because of its theme on suffering (and I thought I might need to hold onto that amid our adoption!)

Instead of opening my Bible first, which is what I usually do, I prayed first. I prayed for deliverance from the gigantic black hole that is my emotions sometimes. I asked for God’s power to fight my comfort idol, to be really satisfied in Him – and GRATEFUL!

Then, I opened up to 2 Corinthians 1…. where I was blown away by a treatise on comfort! Oh God your faithfulness astounds me!

 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For as we share abundantly in Christ’s sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too. If we are afflicted, it is for your comfort and salvation; and if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which you experience when you patiently endure the same sufferings that we suffer. Our hope for you is unshaken, for we know that as you share in our sufferings, you will also share in our comfort. (2 Corinthians 1: 3-7, ESV)

Y’all. I just don’t have the words. I want to memorize this:

 For as we share abundantly in Christ’s sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too. (v. 5)

I really have nothing else to say. I think He said it all.

Joe Paterno, the Idol

Let me admit: I’m not really a football fan (gasp!). I can watch it live, but on TV? It’s not really my thing.

But this is Texas! And you can’t just get away with not hearing about, absorbing, and talking about football. Here in Austin, it’s all about the Cowboys and Longhorns. But mostly the Longhorns (hook ’em!).

However, I know several Penn State fans. I mean, how could you not? They’re all over the country.

And one thing that fans comment on over and over again, besides the talent and success of the Penn State football team, is Joe Paterno. Fans I know don’t usually mention his coaching skills first (although they are undoubtedly good). What I am used to hearing is something like this: I like Paterno because he has integrity. He’s a stand-up guy. That’s why he runs a good team.

And now, Paterno is in the works to leave his long tenure at Penn State amidst allegations that he ignored evidence about another staff member abusing young boys.

Here’s the thing: we want so desperately to see a real person who is perfect, does no wrong, makes wise choices.

Why? Because we are made to worship. And we would much rather worship the created than the Creator.

They  exchanged the truth of God for a lie and worshiped and served the creation rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever! Amen. (Romans 1:25, NETBible)

I know because I do it, too. As an actor, over the years, I have selected my choice actor. “I like him. Not only is he a brilliant artist, but he has stuck with his wife for 30 years/is a Christian/doesn’t do gratuitous sex scenes/whatever.” And then what happens?

They let me down. Every.single.time.

And they always will. Even Paterno. Even me. Even your pastor.

I hope that we will look at the men and women in our lives that we hold up on a pedestal and realize that “for you are dust, and to dust you will return” (Gensis 3:19 portion). Only the Creator remains forever. Only He deserves our worship.